


Leave Me Far.

by TheDarkestMindWithin



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Denial of Feelings, Heartache, Heartbreak, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Professor Oliver (Call Me By Your Name), Student Elio Perlman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 23:09:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18271004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestMindWithin/pseuds/TheDarkestMindWithin
Summary: Elio's a new student at NYU studying classics, he's worked hard to get to where he is, to be seen as anything other than Omega, but just because he's won the battle doesn't mean he's won the war.This is no happily ever after love story.





	1. New Beginnings.

* * *

There's a fullness deep inside my belly, hanging low. There is stickiness between my thighs and dull aches between muscle and bone.

All of this isn't unfamiliar.

I lift my head from my pillow, eyelids flutter open as I inhale and look around me.

The room smells of slick and cum. Of Alpha spend and Omega slick, his body is heavy and solid behind me, I can feel his heavy cock pressed against my arse, morning wood nothing more.

I push the covers from my body and move to sit, room swaying with me, I need water. Maybe food. I get up, the bed lifts beneath me. My legs are shaky from days of no running and being confined to my bed.

Alpha grunts and turns on the bed behind me as I walk to the adjacent bathroom. I'm marked with nails and teeth, nothing that will last longer than a week or so. I smell of him too, thick musky scent that encased my body.

I wonder how I'll feel in a few days when the dust settles and I'm without him.

I hope I'll feel free, maybe I'll just feel alone?

I turn on the shower, it sprays heavy and cold into an empty space, I let it heat up, brush my teeth and comb through my fucked up hair while I wait.

He never wakes up early after my Heat, sleeps for hours after I wake and recovers. His body goes through a lot too, it's not just me.

I still don't know if it was cruel to let him be with me through my Heat? He's always a part of it.

Has been for a long time now. I try not to think of it, all the time we've had together that's now coming to an end.

I finish brushing my teeth and step into the warm spray of water. My body thankful for the relaxant to aching bones and muscles. The fullness in my belly goes as his spend leaks out, babies that will never come to fruition.

I sigh into the abyss of water, rest  my head and let the water run over my face, patter harshly against my skin. Makes me whole again.

The caked in slick and cum leaves my body, the scratches and bites cleaned of blood, ready to heal.

I wash my hair and body, soak myself into the smell of lemons and apples until I am satisfied, until I'm sure he is only bites and scratches on my body.

I wrap myself up into towels that smell of cupboards and fabric softener, dry and moisturise my skin with scents of neutrality and faint vanilla.

I tidy the room when I'm dressed in plain grey boxers and baggy top, tidy away the evidence of our week. Knowing it would only be harder when he wakes.

I follow the trail of mess outside of my bedroom and out to the bathroom and washing room and kitchen, I clean the whole house before noon, before he wakes, before my parents comes back.

I'm packing away my brush and creams when he finally wakes, grunts and shifts beneath the sheets.

"Shit." I look over my shoulder, he lays back against the headboard, inhales deep and looks around the pristine room, boxes on top of boxes spread around, he looks to where pictures and memories had once been. Finds nothing and swallows, eyes shutting and opening as he processes.

"I - Should I go?" His voice is gruff from sleep and Rut, there was a time where I would have done anything after hearing it, but now it's just a voice. I turn, lean against the chest of drawers.

"Don't you want to talk first?" I ask, he was never one to just give up. He always loves to debate and talk and argue.

"Looks like there's not much point." And there's not, his things are packed away already, clothes laid out for him to wear. Our memories are no where to be seen and even if we did talk, fight, cry and scream. It wouldn't stop me from leaving.

"I won't argue with that." I say, swallowing, looking away and around the slowly emptying room.

"I'll get dressed, I know your cars coming soon." I nod and head out the room, let him have privacy. We are no longer together. No longer my place to stay while he dresses.

I go down to the kitchen, drink water to sooth my dried out throat. Swallowing back the sobs that grow from grief.

Grief over a relationship that has just died.

In it's place births a new beginning.


	2. Get To Know You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without Beta.

* * *

_Elio._

It's like being in one of those nightmares where you walk into class naked only, this is real and _so_ much worst.

We're all sat at our desks, Professor Cohen's sitting at his desk, white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, relaxed in his chair. Register in hand and pen in the other. We're all writing on pieces of paper, our name, dorm and one of the happiest days of our life. It's _cliché_ and a _nightmare._

The room is partly divided, whether consciously or not I haven't decided, into two sections, Alphas, Betas and women and then, at the back, the Omega. _Me._

I'm the only one and I feel like I'm under a spotlight in the middle of the room. Being analysed and sized up by the cocky Alphas with wolfish grins that promise to do more than just leer and judgemental women who don't really understand _what_ I am. I ignore all of them, write the answers to his questions and hope this is going to go better than how I _know_ it will.

"Okay, so to ease us in a bit and to get to know each other, we're all gonna go round in a group and say what we've written on our pieces of paper, I'm going to start and we'll go round." He pauses and looks down at his register and pieces of paper, runs a hand through his thick cropped hair before looking back up at the lecture hall full of students.

"I'm Oliver Cohen, you will be calling me Professor or Professor Cohen, I don't have a dorm but my office is down the hall and always open to my students, and the happiest day of my life was - " He pauses again, smiles a little but it looks _practised_ rather than genuine and clears his throat, continues as if nothing had happened. I know the look.

"The happiest day of my life was getting into NYU for my degree." A lie. He smiles again, more genuine and then reads off of his register.

"Right, next up, Joni Adams." She's right at the front, golden blonde hair, who had previously been texting happily away on her phone. She smiles at the rest of the hall, picking up the piece of paper with her answers written on it, she has deep dimples and a sharp cupids bow, she giggles at having to repeat her name. Her dorm is three floors down from mine, an Alpha whoops in the back, Professor Cohen throws him a warning look, immediate silence, she continues. I hope he will maintain the same attitude when it is my turn. Maybe he won't, maybe he'll let them destroy me as a twisted sense of revenge?

You left me so I will leave you.

Happiest day of her life is the same as Professor Cohen's, being accepted into NYU. We move on like this. The dorms and happiest days vary. Engagements, graduations, passing an exam or test, it varies with the occasional, _purposeful,_ jab at me. The _meathead_ Alphas who make a point of bringing up their Alpha status, happiest days: T _he day I had my first Rut. The day I fucked my first Omega. I Knotted. I Fucked. I Rutted_. It's a cycle for about ten students and then it returns to the mundane. Professor Cohen silences any cheers or laughs when they come up with these answers. I may respect him a bit more for it. It gets closer to me and I wonder what I should say?

"I'm Zavier Philips, I'm in dorm 22B and the happiest day of my life was when I popped my first Knot." He's a big classic Alpha, hormones and Rut-Brain, some of the girls mutter in disgust at him, they don't really understand, a few other Alphas pat and smack him congratulatory on his shoulder and back. Whoop and cheer.

Professor Cohen commands order back into the room among us as he nods for me to go next, I fumble with my answers and swallow as I feel all eyes on me. This is a sick punishment, I decide finally when I find my voice.

"I'm Elio Perlman, I'm in dorm 21A and the happiest day of my life was being accepted into NYU." I look up and his eyes are on me, scrutinising, while I may have gotten away with my split second hesitation by everyone else, I hadn't with him, I dropped my gaze and fidgeted as we continued going round.

After everyone has gone round Ol - Professor Cohen starts talking about the course and what material we'll be studying. Breaks down what part of the year will go with what book, how he'll grade us, it's a rundown that I've studied for months, prepped for.

It comes to the end of class and I feel exhausted, having survived the leers and the comments and looks. I'm still standing, I feel a sense of pride, pride that is scuppered with disgust when I'm caught by Zavier's eyes, he's watching me pack my things into my bag, the room around us draining of students, I ignore the tilt of his head and the cocky grin on his face, I know what he wants, he wants just what every other Alpha wants when they see me.

I look up when I'm done, throwing my bag over my shoulder, a mistake when he's still looking at me, licking his lips like he's promising to eat me. There's dread but no fear, dread for the interaction that's about to happen as I have to walk past him to leave but no fear. He doesn't have the guts to do anything, he's not - I cut that thought out of my mind, I no longer have right to it.

I walk down the steps, down the towering classroom, Zavier moves and stands in my way just as I'm about to walk past, I sigh with exasperation, childish and predictable, he gives me a smile that's meant to be charming but is grease and sleaze instead. I'm about to say something when he speaks.

"Mr. Philips, are you waiting for something?" We both turn, attention drawn to him at his desk, he's looking over his books, glasses on his face and pen in hand. We both stare, I feel irritated that he's involved himself, like I couldn't look after myself.

"Just for Elio, Professor." He says it like it's the truth, so laid back and easy, he thinks their they same, meathead Alphas wanting to teach a stupid Omega a cruel lesson, he looks up from his books, studies the two of us as he puts down his pen and takes off his glasses, stands to his full height as he perches against the edge of his desk, predatory.

"And I need to speak to Mr. Perlman, so off you go." It's a humiliating dismissal, I'm sure I'll get double the hell for it but in the moment I relish in the way Zavier looks, like a wounded Alpha, having been pulled rank on, I watch him go with a trained blank face, wait for the door to clang shut and for it to be just the two of us.

I change to anger and annoyance when it's just us. He smiles at me when he sees it, waits for me to cross the space between us and begins crossing it himself when I don't move, he comes until there is only a few steps between us, like this we are the same height, we are equals in a sense.

"Are you okay?" His voice is tender, its not meant to be tender anymore, he raises his hand to touch my cheek, I pull back. He's not allowed to touch me anymore.

"You can't do that." I say barely above a whisper as I fail to bring my eyes to meet his, I feel like a kid again.

"Do what?" There's a hint of a smile to his voice and it reignites my irritation, I meet his eyes with defiance, find the searching want in them that I refuse to return.

"You can't protect me from the meatheads." I say as his eyes study my face, spend too long looking at my lips and my eyes, makes me on edge, his smell slowly reaches my nose, reminds me of all the times before where I could have touched him, unlike now, now there is no touching.

"Yes, I can." He says, taking a step, we are no longer eye-to-eye, I look up at him, give him the twisted satisfaction that it gives him, he could never dull that side of him, that primal Alpha side that enjoys the height difference, the size.

"You'll make it worst." I say, his hands move, I can't fight it, not with him this close and my Heat a fresh memory in my mind. He cups my jaw and takes the next steps, towers me now as he dips his head and touches his lips to mine, delicate and precise, as if he's taking in every second of this moment. I would be lying if I said I wasn't doing the same.

"Elio, I still lov - " I put my fingers to his lips, between the inches of space between us, he's not allowed to say it, he's not allowed to ever say it again.

"Goodbye, Professor Cohen." I look into his eyes, memorise every shifting colour and line surrounding before I let my fingers fall from his lips and move past him and down the stairs, I leave him standing, watching, another fracture between us.

"I'll never stop loving you." His voice follows me as my hand is on the door, I look back at him, he's watching me, hopeful, I turn my back and leave.


	3. Own Brand Sympathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without Beta.

* * *

_Elio._

There are people everywhere and it's weird, so different from what I'm used to. Shouting and laughing as they push and shove each other joyfully, they're Alpha meatheads, some girls are around, that's why the Alphas are acting up with their shoving and yelling that's reminiscent of pups play fighting in the school yard. I try to slip past them without attracting unnecessary attention, I manage to get to my door.

They wolf whistle and yell unnecessary sexual language and make lewd sounds, I ignore them and push the door open, slide inside with my head down and shoulders hunched. This is so fucking bad and I don't even have - I don't let myself finish the thought, refusing to wish for him, to miss him. I dump my stuff on the empty bed and sink to the floor against the door. Cover my face with my eyes and cry frustrated tears.

She clears her throat. I'm an idiot for forgetting we all share dorms, I just didn't think whoever I would be sharing with would be here yet. I wipe away my tears and scramble to my feet as I found her watching me on her bed, fully made up, she got here really early I guess.

"Hi," It's a friendly smile, open and relaxed, not necessarily sympathetic and I like that she's not looking at me all doe eyed and sad, I think I'd rather take my chances with the meatheads outside the door than with a girl whose all about sympathy and soft hugs, not that I don't like those things I just -

"I'm Marzia, what's your name?" She has a soft voice and an accent, I wonder where she's from, she shuts the book she had been reading and climbs off of her bed, holds her hand out to mine and waits.

"Hi, I'm Elio." I mirror her words, I can't think of my own, and shake her hand, she smiles brighter, she's very beautiful, our hands drop and she retreats back to her bed.

"If you need help unpacking, I'm here." She says, picking up her book and laying down against her pillows, she means more, her words have more meaning than just offering to help hang up some clothes, I appreciate her words with hidden meanings more than I would appreciate a soft hug and sympathy. Maybe her double meaning words are her sympathy?

"Thanks, you too." I say, she smiles at me and turns a page in her book, I don't sink back to the floor but instead I start to unpack, like she has, make up my bed and pack away my clothes in the half of the wardrobe she's left for me and the set of drawers. I put my books and my posters up around my half and we find we have things in common, we both have several Stephen King books, Marzia even has a poster, we talk about which book is our favourite and then move on to films, we argue about which _IT_ adaptation is better.

We talk about where we're from and what we're studying, our families and everything in between, she makes me feel better the longer we talk, less alone, I think she feels the same, maybe I'm projecting? I don't think I am.


	4. My Love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to a time of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without Beta.

* * *

_Elio._

_"Elio, Elio, my Elio," His voice floats around me, I open my eyes, the light pours in from the windows and his smile greets me, vibrant, his lips press against mine and I can't help but to smile with him, against his lips. He's infectious when he gets into happy moods like this. He cups the back of my head and deepens our kiss, teeth tease my lip as his arm raises, I know all too late what he's up to. The click of the camera snitches on him and I break our kiss with a curse as he laughs and pulls his hand out of my reach as I try to grab for the offending camera._

_"Oliver!" I complain when he has the Polaroid in his hand, he's partly grinning while we kiss, I'm a mess, I snatch it out of his hands as he rolls onto his back besides me and laughs, I elbow his ribs and roll my eyes when he insists i'm beautiful regardless on how much grooming I've had for the day, I call him a filthy curse as he sets the Polaroid and the camera down on the bedside._

_"Oh, my Elio, the brightest sun I could conjure from my mind, I adore you, my love." He murmurs to me, kissing away the pout i attempt, he kisses it away like he always does, soft and persuasive as he pushes me down into the sheets, his fingers on my body as I kiss him back, my fingers lost in his curls._

_"My love." I whisper back between the gap of our lips, I cherish the way he looks at me, like I'm the only person he'll ever love. I hope he'll always look at me like this, I hope I always look at him like this._

_He kisses me as he slides beneath the sheets, atop my body, the searing weight of his hips against mine making my pulse race with anticipation. -_

"Ooh, he's cute!" I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Marzia's voice, I push the Polaroid back between the pages of my book I had found it in and turn to her as she throws herself onto my bed, legs kicking into the air as she grins at me, clueless.

"Not hiding a secret Alpha between the sheets, are you, Elio?" She teases as I roll my eyes at her and tuck the book beneath my bed, out of her reach, climbing onto the bed besides her as I pick up the coffee she'd gotten me.

"Of course not, he's no-one." I say, blowing the steam from my cup as I take a hesitant sip, she scoffs and rolls to get a better look at me. I know she doesn't believe me but she doesn't have to, not right now, and I don't have to tell her about Oliver, not right now. She senses I',m not telling her something and huffs as she changes the subject to what the latest Alpha meathead pursuing her has done.

She adds in all the dramatics and hyperbolic atmosphere she can through her dramatic retelling and we're both crying with laughter by the end of it.

The photo of Oliver and I forgotten in-between the pages of my book underneath my bed.


	5. Chi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without Beta.

* * *

_Elio._

"You hurt him, Elio. You can't only blame him." Chi says, as she examines the spines of my books, I roll my eyes at her, hate how she's so objective. She doesn't take sides. I sit besides her on my bed and check the time, Marzia would be back in a little while and I didn't particularly want her walking in on Chi talking about Oliver, especially as I hadn't actually told Marzia about him, yet.

"He hurt me more." I say, sounding childish and stubborn as she flicks over the spines and snorts, looking over her shoulder at me, eyebrows raised and looking at me like I didn't just say what I did, she always takes sides.

"Okay, then tell him that." She says, like it's so simple, like we've just had a small tiff. I huff and fall onto the bed besides her, stare up at the ceiling and I think about Oliver, I stop when the lock on the door turns and seconds later Marzia pushes the door open and steps inside, she raises her eyebrows at Chi's presence.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realise Elio had company." She says, halfway in the door, I move to explain but Chi gets there before I can, getting up and grabbing her jacket from the back of my chair.

"He doesn't." She says to Marzia, smiling at her as she steps into the doorway, a little past her, throwing a meaningful look over her shoulder at me as she pulls her jacket on over her shoulders.

"Call him, Elio. Otherwise I'll make you." She leaves without another word, leaving me with Marzia whose looking after Chi with a perplexed look, I groan with frustration as I throw my face into my pillows and hide.

* * *

**Oliver.**

"Causing trouble, Chichi?" I ask, making her jump and turn around from where she was leaning, snooping, over my desk, she smiles and shrugs, leaning against the edge of my desk as I clear my throat and uncross my arms, pushing off of the doorway of my class room and crossing the space between us.

"Just came by to say hi." She says, trying to sound innocent, it doesn't suit her, I nod showing her I don't believe her for a second, hugging her warmly as she kisses my cheeks and hugs me back.

"Urgh, you stink of Alpha." She says wrinkling her nose with distaste, making me laugh as I go round to sit at my desk, always so dramatic.

"No, I just don't smell of Elio anymore." I say, picking up my book as she sighs and turns to face me again, cocking her head to the side as she studies my face, I act as if I don't know exactly what she's doing and wait for whatever she's going to say next, which only takes a minute or two.

"You know he misses you." I snap my book shut and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling with a groan.

"And I miss him, which is something he already knows and he still doesn't care." I say looking back at her. Stubborn and determined. I won't be winning today, no matter what I say.

"Make him care." I laugh but it's humourless, more mocking.

"You say it like I haven't already tried!" She shrugs and looks over her shoulder as a few kids start filing in, classes starting soon.

"I'll see you afterwards." It's not an offer or question. It's a fact, I nod and watch her leave, passing Elio as he walks in as she goes. He looks at me and anger flickers in his eyes, I let my head fall back all over again. No way does it not look like I called her.


	6. Gold Sense.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what did they break up over?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without Beta.

* * *

**Oliver.**

Like she said she would, Chichi sees me after my classes have finished for the day. She's waiting outside the classroom, leaning against the wall with her phone in her hands, texting. I clear my throat and she looks at me, smiling.

"We're going for a drink," She says, though I'm immediately suspicious and look around for any sign that she's pulled Elio into this plan too. No way was I going to let it look like I called her even more than it already did.

"Relax!" She's grinning and laughing at me with a shake of her head. Like I'm too funny to be real.

"I'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow, Oli." I huff at her as she slips her phone away and grabs my hand in hers, pulling me down the hallway towards the exit. Despite our differing statures she pulls me with great ease and I don't bother with a futile attempt at refusal. Once Chichi had a plan there was no stopping it from playing out.

"So, what're the Omegas here like? Anyone catch your eye?" She asks as we walk out of the building and start down the street, towards the cluster of bars and clubs that was on campus, I roll my eyes at her probing and squirm out of the question. Of course there hasn't been anyone since Elio, I don't say.

"The Betas?" Chichi continues as we pass clusters of students laughing and staggering and giggling on their way to get smashed for the weekend. I wonder if Elio will be among them. My stomach twists at the idea.

"You're no fun!" Chichi declares when I continue to squirm out of her questions. We enter a large bar titled 'Gold Sense.'

"What do you want to drink?" Chichi asks as we settle at a table in the back of the bar, there's a couple of extra seats but it's quiet and we can always move. I select a beer and Chichi smiles as she walks off to order, I play with the coaster on the table while I wait for her to return.

I get the sense that this is more of a place to have a date than to get smashed, at least judging by the snug couples sitting in the booths with their shy smiles and small touches. I remember taking Elio to a bar like this for one of our first dates -

"I've ordered some food too." She sets the drinks on the table, on the coasters, and takes the seat besides me rather than opposite, taking a sip of her large glass of wine and looking around.

"Beautiful little place, wasted on student life." Chichi says as she looks back at me with a smile, I smile but it's not as bright as hers and take a sip of my beer.

* * *

_Elio._

"You're so suspicious, it's just a drink with an old friend!" I say as Marzia narrows her eyes at me and studies the way I neaten my hair before we enter Gold Sense.

"Sorry, it's not everyday you find out your roommate used to date his Professor!" Marzia says with a sulky edge to her voice as I push open the bar door and roll my eyes at her, though it's slightly amusing. We enter the bar and thankfully it's still quiet, we see Chi round the corner from the bar, she's already got a wine so we go to the bar before we go to her.

"You do realise that she's going to tell me everything," Marzia says confidently as she smiles and gives a small wave to Chi, I laugh and shake my head as I order a beer for myself and a vodka and orange for Marzia.

"Sure, sure," I humour Marzia as she nudges me playfully with her elbow while our drinks are fetched. Marzia picks up both our drinks, refusing to answer why as we head round the corner to where Chi is.

I know why I wasn't allowed to carry my own drink over the moment I see the rest of the table. I would have dropped it had I come face-to-face with Oliver holding it in my hand.


End file.
